I can't find an appropriate word to piece together how uncontrollably and overwhelmingly stressed I am feeling today. I can only explain the feeling of my life lately as though I am floating in a vast pool of water in which I cannot see below or around me, and every time I feel as though I am able to float on my back and be stable, I get pushed under by an unseen tide that just hits me from behind. I have felt lately like I have control over nothing in my life, I feel vacant and distant from everyone and everything. I desperately want things to be "normal" but I can't find a way to make that possible, no matter how hard I rack my brain. I'm exhausted from thinking and thinking and thinking. My mind is moving quicker than the earth has time to catch up with. I am sore all over from a weight only stress can put on your body and only peace of mind can erase. I hate getting out of bed lately, knowing I will only be going to do something that will drain what little life I have in me. At school I find there joy in being forced to learn things you really could care less about. I just want to get away, and not have to think, but I know I can't because that will lead to me falling behind in school and work. I'm trapped, and I freaks me out. Why the caged bird sings, I'll never know, but give me some of what he's having.
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