2014

     I am a highly emotional and receptive person, or so I'd like to believe. I find myself feeling everyone's pain, and carrying everyone's worries upon my shoulders. It gets exhausting honestly, but there isn't much I can do to change this about myself (trust me I've tried). If there was one thing I would want everyone to understand about me is that I am not the distant guarded person I portray myself to be. 

    I want nothing more than to hug every person I see, and tell everyone what I love about them and how some peoples presence can completely change my mood, and how others eyes remind me of the sky reflecting the crystal water of the ocean in the middle of June or Hot Coco that warms my nose during the winter or the grass that spiked between my toes for so many summers. I want to tell people their smiles melt my heart, and their style gives me envy.

   I crave grabbing someone by the hand and just strolling through a park, relaying to each other the darkest and brightest memories of our childhood, just listening and understanding the fluctuations in tone, the long pauses where they are deserved, and the quiet giggles over long distant memories. I want to walk through nature with someone I love, getting lost and away from technology and the worry that surrounds everyday life. Breath. I just want to be able to breath. I want to take pictures to capture every moment, ones to fill books and walls with. I want to write lovely words that make someones heart skip a beat, ones that pull on the emotions no one likes to talk about, and ones that will let people understand who I am, and why.

     It's been a long, long, long past four years for me emotionally. I hope one day to let you all know the exact details why. But for now I am just comfortable telling this little bit about me. If you know me in person, I owe you an apology. Odds are you haven't gotten to know the real me, no one really does so don't feel offended. Someday I'll be able to let you, just bare with me for now.